BDSM after care

If your curious about the world of BDSM with your partner, it may seem there are an endless list of things to consider. its not quite as simple as dressing up or tying your partner up. You both need to talk about your limits, safe words and of course what your fantasy is. One thing you may not have thought about is after care.

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Not all of our fantasies will necessarily fit with our usual day to day lives. How you want your partner to treat you, behave or play during a scene isn`t always how you will want them to treat you during the normal course of your relationship. After care will help you step back into reality.

So what is BDSM after care? This is simply the time you and your partner spend after play time. Some scenes or and an intense sexual experience can be physically and mentally draining, you will need time to recover, rest and get back to reality. in it`s most basic form after care is communicating with your partner and taking care of each other to make sure your both 100% comfortable with what had just happened. this will include tending to any wounds the Sub may have got doing the scene, re hydrating and taking some time to be affectionate.

After care will hopefully cushion the affects of any ” Sub drop”. A sub drop refers to the sadness a sub may feel once the endorphins crash and the adrenaline floods the body after a powerful scene, this could happen days later. The Dominant partner may also experience similar drops ( Dom drops) Some signs of a sub drop could be

  • Cant calm down and are feeling irritable
  • Feeling worthless or helpless
  • Feeling tired or feeling lazy
  • Not wanting to eat

The first steps in after care is to take off all BDSM gear, like a blind fold, ropes or restraints. The Sub may also want to be moved somewhere more comfortable and warm and be able to clean up and see to any injuries they could have got. Ask the Sub if they would like some water or juice and a blanket to counteract the change in body temperature. Cuddling and caressing along with a soft and gentle voice from the Dom with some reassurance that everything is OK are just a few ways to offer after care and make sure you partner is happy with what has just taken place.

Dominants can drop too, there is a stereotype the a Dom may not need after care, however this is just as important. After care is about taking care of each other. The Dom could be having feelings of guilt and will also need some reassurance that their partner is OK.

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